He who lives only in the past deprives himself of the future. To live, constantly looking back, to live in the hope of someday correcting the mistakes of the past, and perhaps even rewriting your entire life into a clean copy - means to live, spending your life energy idling.
Looking back, you can't go forward. This is exactly what happens to us when we live our childhood grievances again and again, we get stuck in our thoughts exclusively on the past, we look for the guilty ones, we blame ourselves.
Our whole life turns into one huge reproach of an immature child, looking at the world with tearful eyes, expecting that someday a miracle will happen and he will receive everything that he was deprived of in childhood.
We expect that someday they will return to us what our mother did not give us in the past: love, care, affection, a sense of security, recognition that you are the best, that you are a good boy or girl.
Being deprived of all this, we are sometimes not able to adequately build relationships within ourselves and with those around us outside. We suffer from low self-esteem, sometimes reaching self-hatred, we cannot accept ourselves, we are not able to love either ourselves or others. We walk through life with a heavy tread, bending under the weight of the past, which comes to us in memories and dreams. We drive it away from us, but it still comes.
Training "Systemic Vector Psychology" by Yuri Burlan analyzes in detail such a life scenario, which is laid only in a certain type of people, and explains the reasons for its formation. Through the awareness of one's life scenario, there is a liberation from all its negative consequences in adulthood.
The mistakes of the past cannot be corrected, because the past no longer exists: states come and go, replacing each other. It is necessary to work with the present state, and not try to reconstruct the past, obsolete. Knowing ourselves, realizing our psychological characteristics, we change - our feelings change, our attitude changes, changes occur in the present.
Our fundamental mistake is in the opinion that the causes of our troubles are in the external: parents are bad, they did not raise them that way, children are bad, ungrateful, the husband / wife does not love enough, does not understand, thinks only of himself ... While one should look in the inner, in to himself.
Relationship with parents
Childhood is a special time in our life. This is the time when we take the first steps in knowing ourselves and the world around us. In childhood, we are laid ideas about ourselves, self-esteem is formed. This is the time when we learn to interact with others in a certain way. And a special role in all these processes is played by our relationship with our parents. The way we interact with them in childhood determines the scenario of our entire subsequent life. We accept or do not accept ourselves. We realize our innate potential or go the wrong way, trying to follow the wishes of our parents, who, as always, wishing us well, strive to realize in us what they themselves did not receive in their childhood: “You will also thank me, you will say, mom was right!”
Relationships with mothers play an important role in the psychological development of any child. Nature is so arranged that the first part of his life, each of us is attached to his mother with natural love. During this period (from birth to puberty), we are full of unconscious fear of the outside world due to our extreme helplessness and unconsciously understand that our survival is completely dependent on our mother.
Therefore, for every baby, his mother is the most important person, she is the smartest, the best. As we grow older, the veil of childhood falls from us, conflicts of “fathers and children” arise, which is also programmed by nature. Breaking ties with parents is the guarantor of procreation. We are stepping into adulthood, creating our own families, losing our animal connection with our mother, although we still have cultural superstructures: care for parents, duty to parents, respect for parents, and so on. Still, independent living skills and separation from parents are necessary to build your adult life.
The Importance of Bonding with Parents for the Anal and Anal-Visual Child
For a child with an anal vector, relationships with parents in childhood, and in subsequent adult life, too, have a special importance. It is this type of people who, due to a problematic relationship with their mother, may have difficulties with adequate self-esteem, with the acceptance of oneself, one's individuality, such personality traits as infantilism, as well as cruelty and sadistic inclinations, can be laid.
It is difficult for a person with an anal vector to deal with all these problems on their own due to the specifics psychological features anal vector. It is this type of people who tend to live in the past, past states, feelings. Such people look at life exclusively through the prism of the first experience, transferring it from one person to all people, from one situation to all subsequent situations in life.
When they get negative experiences, they get stuck in resentment. These are severe negative states of the anal vector, which deprive the fullness of life, waste vital energy.
The anal-visual child is doubly psychologically dependent on the mother. It is in this type of children that, with an unfavorably developing relationship with their mother, on their basis one or another negative scenario may arise in the future.
The anal child is characterized by extreme congenital lack of independence, he is not able to independently start a movement, make a decision, make a choice. He needs his mother's advice. "Mashenka, go clean the room,"- Mom says, and Mashenka happily runs to clean up. Our mentality is arranged in such a way that everything is provided with feedback, so the anal child is very obedient, he easily follows other people's advice and instructions, is ready to follow any instructions and instructions from his mother and does it without any internal resistance, with pleasure.
The fear of being without a parent (without guardianship) determines the increased need of the anal child for parental love, for its confirmation. An anal baby needs confidence that he is doing everything right, he needs praise: “What a golden child you are, what a clever girl!”
Raised by the skin mother, the anal child usually does not get the vital connection with the mother and experiences tremendous stress due to the subconscious fear of not surviving.
Communication with a skin mother for an anal child becomes a real torture. Anal babies are inherently slow. They do everything slowly, consistently, so as not to forget anything, to sort everything out. It is important for them to bring any matter to the point, to achieve a state of perfection, ideal order and perfection.
The skin mother has a different innate rhythm, different values. For a skin mother, it is not quality that is important, but speed, unlike her anal child, she can easily do 10 things at the same time. When such a mother begins to push her child, everything falls out of his hands, the child experiences a state of stress. And to this is added the dissatisfaction of the skin mom: "What are you stupid, what a clumsy" ...
Life with a skin mom turns into an eternal rush for a leisurely anal child: “Well, why are you digging, come on faster, one, two, and you’re done” ... Of course, in such an atmosphere, there can be neither love nor understanding between the skin mother and the anal baby. A skin mother has completely different innate desires, other value systems. She is stingy with emotions and praise, restraint for her is the highest virtue: “There is nothing to pamper children, it is not clear what grows out of them because of this.”
An obedient anal baby tries his best to be a good boy or girl, that is, the way his mother wants him to be. Of course, nothing works out for him, and he withdraws into himself, takes offense at his mother, acquires low self-esteem, begins to hate himself. So it turns out that instead of suggesting a direction for the realization of the special anal essence of her child, the skin mother tries to remake him, make him skin, as a result giving her child the wrong guidelines in life, values alien to him, erroneous thoughts.
Resentment from childhood controls the life scenario
Anal resentment, fixed in childhood and later repressed, subsequently controls the anal person all his life, creates his life scenario, and limits any positive movement. We are forever stuck in a stupor, afraid of situations when we need to make decisions or make choices. We are afraid to live, because life is movement.
We lock ourselves in the past, on our grievances, we become infantile, we refuse to take responsibility for our lives, we are afraid of situations when we need to make decisions, we grow extremely helpless. Such an anal baby has various negative scenarios that form cruelty and sadistic tendencies in him, driving him into a stupor, developing obstinacy and stubbornness instead of the “will to win”.
In anal-visual babies, the state of resentment is aggravated, since an unrealized colossal need for emotional connection, sincerity, warmth, sharing of emotions and impressions is also added. In the case of an anal-visual combination, resentment reaches its emotional maximum.
In the relationship of an anal-visual child with a skin-visual mother, the opposite scenario can form, when the mother, unconsciously understanding the psychological characteristics of her child, begins to manipulate his love, forming a “good boy / girl” complex in him. A visual or skin-visual mother successfully uses the anal child’s need for love, and praise turns into a manipulation tool: “You are my golden boy, my beloved, the most obedient baby in the world, the best, how lucky your mom is that you are the best in the world tying your shoelaces...
This is how an unconscious collusion arises: one side - "I, a defenseless baby, need my mother's care, advice, confirmation of constancy and love", the other - "I, your mom, very pleased with your obedience, begin to manipulate you through praise and confirmation of love." It is always easy to see such good boys and girls - they constantly look into the eyes in anticipation of praise, they can never refuse anyone, say “no”, they are ready for anything, just to hear in response: "What a smart girl you are, what a fine fellow you are."
An anal-visual girl next to a skin-visual mother may experience difficulties in accepting herself as a woman. She can acquire various complexes regarding her appearance. They have a completely different metabolism with their mother, the structure of the figure. Next to her slender, graceful, impeccable-looking skin-visual mother, the anal-visual girl may feel too clumsy, too fat, unattractive.
A skin-visual mother in a certain state unconsciously evaluates her daughter as a competitor, she switches the attention of all her daughter's suitors to herself. A skin-visual mother is a special type of woman who is unconsciously unable to feel like a mother, since in her natural essence she is a female who does not give birth, a fighting friend in hunting and war.
Such a mother is incapable of all-consuming love and care for her own child, although at the same time she easily and quickly establishes an emotional connection with other people's children, there is always a crowd of children around her, looking at her with loving eyes. Skin-visual women are exactly those mothers who always face a choice: family or career. More often they lean towards the second, and if they choose a family for one reason or another, then they mourn themselves all their lives: “You understand that I sacrificed myself for you!” Skin-visual women who have chosen a career pay little attention to their child, more often handing him over to the hands of relatives and nannies.
Understanding the vector characteristics of children, obtained on the basis of the training "System-Vector Psychology", makes it possible to make family relationships harmonious, revealing the individual characteristics of the child, and not suppressing his natural essence. This is a unique educational tool that gives a clear understanding that we are all different: what for one is a balm for the soul, for another it will be just a disaster.
This is not known to parents, because we always wish others what we would like for ourselves. When we learn to see our children in a vector way, we ourselves find answers to all questions related to their upbringing, select the right reward and punishment system that does not injure the child, but sets him the right move in life.
Awareness of one’s psychological characteristics in adulthood helps to solve many problems with self-esteem, a natural, coming from within acceptance of yourself as you are comes, an understanding of the life scenario comes and forgiveness of your mother naturally comes, resentments go away, a place is made for the present and future.
Resentment is a state forbidden by nature, since it means inhibition of development. You can't live in the past. The feeling of gratitude, respect, understanding, some other positive feelings should remain and serve as an incentive and motive for moving to the next state, to the future.
Getting stuck in past states deprives us of development. Without realizing it, we are marking time in one place, thereby causing irreparable harm to ourselves. At the trainings "System-Vector Psychology" by Yuri Burlan, starting to realize themselves and understand others, people get a new quality of life. Tears that suddenly begin to flow from a person after a couple of sessions are the removal of fixed states in the anal vector, this is cleansing.
Awareness of oneself and understanding of others, which gives the training "Systemic Vector Psychology", removes the negative states acquired in childhood. A person who has gone astray finds his real “I”, realizes his real desires, understands what properties he has for their realization, begins to live a full life here and now, without constant looking back looking for the guilty ones. To understand is to forgive. Real forgiveness comes when we understand that our parents had no choice, they lived their lives according to the script, in turn received by them from their parents. We live our desires. Realizing them with the help of System-Vector Psychology, we take control of life into our own hands, and do not grope blindly, having no other support than past experience.
Proofreader: Zifa Akhatova
The article was written based on the materials of the training " System-Vector Psychology»Elena KORNEEVA,
Yelets
Extracurricular reading lesson based on the fairy tale by A. de Saint-Exupery "The Little Prince" in the 8th grade
We all come from childhood
I'm not very sure that I lived after my childhood passed.
A. de Saint-Exupery
... All adults were once children, only few of them remember this.
A. de Saint-Exupery
Dictionary: philosophy, fairy tale, symbol, conflict (writing on the board).
During the classes
I. The word of the teacher.
Where are we from? We come from childhood, as if from some country ... So thought one of the most amazing people - a dreamer, pilot, writer Antoine de Saint-Exupery, whom his friends simply called Saint-Ex.
Antoine Marie Roger de Saint-Exupery was the third child of Count Jean de Saint-Exupery and Marie de Fontscolombe. His mother was a talented artist, she came from an old Provencal family. The family of the father was even older, the name of Saint-Exupery was carried by one of the knights of the Holy Grail. Antoine was born in 1900, while his father was an insurance agent in Lyon. Four years later, he died, and the mother of the future writer was left without a livelihood with five children in her arms.
Antoine's childhood was, despite the early death of his father, the happiest time. The very first and strong affection in his life was his mother. She deeply harbored her grief, surrounded the children with tender love. Antoine grew up as a mobile, enterprising child, often violated the prohibitions of adults (for example, walked on the roof). Mother often told fairy tales to children, surrounded them with an atmosphere of magic. Antoine in the family was called the Sun King because of his blond hair, and his comrades - Astrologer and "Get the Moon" because of his nose upturned to the sky.
At the age of twelve, he had a chance to fly on an airplane, but the "air baptism" did not impress. In his youth, he was attracted by architecture, but in 1921, drafted into the army, he finally chose his path - the sky. Exupery was a pilot, head of the French airfield in Spanish Morocco, then in South America. In the 1920s and 1930s, he mastered the technique of night flight on still imperfect machines, learned to drive a seaplane, and lay new routes. Exupery flew over the Cordillera, over the Sahara; used to crash with his car, often, risking his life, flew to save a comrade. He felt responsible for the people and for his land.
His first works - the stories "Southern Postal" and "Night Flight" - about the life and work of pilots. His best story, The Planet of the People (1939), is filled with love for people. When did the second World War, he was declared unfit for service in aviation, but still continued to fight. After France was captured by the Nazi troops, Exupery ended up in exile in America. The pilot again seeks the right to fight for peace on Earth. Already elderly, wounded (Exupery could not put on his overalls and climb into the cockpit), he could still fly and conduct reconnaissance. On July 31, 1944, he took off, but his plane did not return to the base ... He did not live long and did not write very much, but Exupery managed to tell people the most important thing ...
The teacher reads a poem by E. Yevtushenko "There are no uninteresting people in the world ...".
There are no uninteresting people in the world.
Their fates are like the histories of the planets.
Each has everything special, its own,
and there are no planets like it.And if someone lived unnoticed
and was friends with this invisibility,
he was interesting among people
by its very invisibility.Everyone has their own secret private world.
There is the most wonderful moment in this world.
There is the most terrible hour in this world,
but all this is unknown to us.And if a person dies
with him his first snow dies,
and the first kiss, and the first fight ...
He takes all this with him.Yes, books and bridges remain
machines and artists canvases,
yes, much is destined to stay,
but something is still missing!Such is the law of the ruthless game.
Not people die, but worlds.
We remember people, sinful and earthly.
And what did we really know about them?What do we know about brothers, about friends,
what do we know about our only one?
And about his own father
we know everything, we know nothing.People are leaving... They cannot be returned.
Their secret worlds cannot be revived.
And every time I want again
from this irreversibility to scream ...
II. Interview with students.
1. Think about the connection between the fairy tale by A. de Saint-Exupery and this poem by the modern poet Yevgeny Yevtushenko.
The poem says that every person is like a planet, he has his own world. The departure of any person is always pain and sadness, even if it was an ordinary, unremarkable person. Main character Exupery's fairy tales are a child who knows the world, everything is interesting to him, and he does not remain indifferent to any new fact, he seeks to learn as much as possible about the world, people, life, nature.
2. What did you find unusual about this book?
3. Remember what a fairy tale is? Why did the author turn to this genre?
The fairy tale provides an opportunity to make a generalization, a lesson, and it is also connected with the world of childhood, which Antoine de Saint-Exupery valued so much.
4. Read the dedication. What is its role?
In a dedication to a friend Leon Werth, when he was small, the thought of the difference between adults and children sounds. (Leon Werth is an artist, critic, journalist and writer.)
5. Describe the narrator. Why is he dissatisfied?
This is a person who has retained the pure soul of a child in himself, he has not lost his childlike spontaneity, he misses adults among adults: “I lived among adults for a long time. I saw them very close.
6. Find a tie.
“So I lived alone, and I had no one to talk heart to heart with,” the narrator shares with us, and then he meets the Little Prince in the desert, where the pilot had an accident. The narrator, like the author himself, is also a pilot, it is likely that Exupery endowed him with his own views.
7. Why were the pilot and the Little Prince able to make friends?
They see the world in the same way, like a child: it is important for them what kind of voice a friend has, whether he likes to catch butterflies, and they are not at all interested in how old he is, how much his father earns.
8. Describe the Little Prince. What is its main rule?
The little prince is a child who sees everything differently than adults: he is very inquisitive, sociable, polite, responsible, he is able to sympathize, but he gets bored with gray people, busy with routine, like, for example, a business person. He has a rule: "I got up in the morning, washed myself, put myself in order - and immediately put your planet in order."
The dialogue between the Little Prince and the pilot is indicative:
“You talk like adults!” he said.
I became ashamed. And he mercilessly added:
You're confusing everything... you don't understand anything!"
9. What kind of person resents the Little Prince and calls him a mushroom?
One person causes indignation of the hero: "He never smelled a flower in his whole life. He never looked at a star. He never loved anyone. And he never did anything."
10. In his fairy tale, the writer poses an important problem of values. What is valuable for the Little Prince? For the inhabitants of asteroids? For the storyteller?
For the Little Prince, the value is his planet, his rose, sunrise, friendship. Each of the inhabitants of the asteroids considers one thing to be valuable: power, money, work, and so on. The narrator, after talking with the Little Prince, begins to look at the world in a special way: “The ill-fated bolt and hammer, thirst and death were funny to me. On a star, on a planet - on my planet called Earth - the Little Prince was crying, and I had to console him ".
11. What does the history of the relationship between the Little Prince and the rose teach?
This story teaches attentive attitude to those who are nearby, it teaches care, understanding. “I didn’t understand anything then! It was necessary to judge not by words, but by deeds. She gave me her fragrance, illuminated my life,” says the hero.
12. Who does the hero meet during his journey? What are the inhabitants of asteroids for?
Traveling and flying from asteroid to asteroid, the boy meets different people engaged in one thing: a king, an ambitious man, a drunkard, a businessman, a lamplighter, a geographer. These are adults, many of them have completely forgotten about true values, they cannot admire beauty (drunkard, business man, ambitious person). Each of them is the bearer of a single idea: the king - the idea of power; lamplighter - ideas of fidelity to a given word; geographer - ideas of accumulation of knowledge and so on. But they are all very limited, because they live only one idea, not noticing the beauty of the world.
13. How does the Little Prince evaluate them?
"Adults are very, very strange people...adults...amazing people." Many of the people met do not cause sympathy in the hero.
Teacher's word. In a letter to his mother, Exupery wrote: "The world of memories, childhood, our language and our games ... will always seem to me hopelessly more true than any other." The Little Prince is a symbolic tale: the young hero is Antoine de Saint-Exupery himself. During a plane crash in the desert, the pilot met with himself, with his childhood. The writer was convinced that children are wise: the main lesson of life lies in simple words put into the mouth of the Little Prince:
“People on Earth,” said the Little Prince, “grow five thousand roses in one garden ... and do not find what they are looking for ...
Yes, they do not find ... - I confirmed.
Meanwhile, what they are looking for could be found in a single rose or in the throat ... But the eyes are blind. You have to search with your heart."
The fairy tale "The Little Prince" is a kind of testament of ideals, a code of pure morality. A contemporary of the writer Pierre Dex spoke of her this way: “You need to be able to read in the simple words of this tale a lot of real pain, the most heartbreaking drama that has ever befallen a person. The requirements Saint-Exupery makes for people are too great, too lofty for society where he lived." And it is. Exupery remained a child in his soul, acutely feeling discord among people.
14. What is the conflict in the fairy tale?
Exupery depicts the collision of two worlds: the world of adults and the world of childhood; there is no mutual understanding between them, adults have forgotten eternal truths, they are too carried away with calculations, infected with ambition, they are different. “People get into fast trains, but they themselves don’t understand what they are looking for ... Therefore, they don’t know peace and rush in one direction, then in the other ...” - the kid says to the pilot. And in a conversation with a switchman, the thought of the difference in the worldview of children and adults sounds.
“They don’t want anything,” said the switchman. “They sleep in the cars or just sit and yawn. Only the children press their noses against the windows.
Only children know what they are looking for,” said the Little Prince. “They give all their days to a rag doll, and it becomes very, very dear to them, and if it is taken away from them, the children cry ...” (ch. XXII).
Lis also says about adults: "People don't have enough time to learn anything anymore. They buy things ready-made in the store. But there are no stores where friends sell, and therefore people no longer have friends."
15. The theme of responsibility in a fairy tale. What should a person be responsible for?
Everyone should be responsible for their planet - let's remember the rule of the Little Prince: he considered it necessary to weed out baobabs every day: "It is imperative to weed out baobabs every day ..." The pilot says: "And if the baobab is not recognized in time, then you will not get rid of it."
Teacher. Exupery created his fairy tale at a time when his native France was occupied by the Nazis. There is an opinion that baobabs are a symbol of the fascist threat, which was not destroyed in the bud, like a harmful weed, and led to the death of many people. The writer, with the help of a symbolic image, called on all the people of the planet to be responsible for everything that happens on Earth.
16. What is the Fox for?
He speaks words of wisdom, makes both the hero and us think about the problem of friendship and responsibility. (Read an excerpt in class - a conversation with the Fox, ch. XXI.)
17. What wise expressions are there in the fairy tale? (The children received preliminary homework: write them out in a notebook.)
It is much harder to judge oneself than others.
Only children know what they are looking for.
It's good where we're not.
Only one heart is vigilant.
The most important thing is what you can't see with your eyes...
Water is also necessary for the heart ...
Each person has their own stars.
The only true luxury on Earth is the luxury of human interaction.
You are forever responsible for those you have tamed.
Power must first of all be reasonable.
III. Summarizing.
Teacher's word. Exupery's work is called a philosophical tale. Philosophy is the science of the general laws of development of man and the world, often the word "philosophy" is used as a synonym for the word "wisdom". In the fairy tale of the French writer, there are many wise thoughts, reflections on the eternal issues of human life: about friendship, responsibility, devotion, love, about life and its values, about people's relationships. A feature of philosophical works is that each image, in addition to its direct meaning, also has a symbolic meaning: The Little Prince is not only the image of a particular hero, but also a symbol of a child in general; a rose is not just a flower, it is a symbol of a beloved, but capricious creature; The fox is a symbol of nature, a friend; the baby's asteroid is a symbol of the planet, and it is also a world of childhood that is far away for many adults...
18. Try to formulate the idea of a fairy tale.
The world of childhood is fragile and pure, children are spontaneous beings who live relying on their feelings, listening to the voice of the heart. Adults often lose their ability to imagine, stop paying attention to the beauty of the world and thus limit themselves. Therefore, adults and children are two worlds, two different planets, and only a few are able to return to the land of childhood...
Exupery's tale can be taken literally: it was a fantastic adventure of a pilot in the desert - a meeting with an inhabitant of a distant planet, the Little Prince. And you can perceive this story as a meeting of the pilot with himself, with his own childhood. And if you keep in your soul a childish spontaneity and purity, who knows, maybe you will someday meet the Little Prince ...
Phonogram of the song by M. Tariverdiev and N. Dobronravov "The Little Prince".
Homework. Write a letter to the Little Prince.
28.04.2010
Ekaterina Pankratova
In every adult person, no matter how old he is 30, 40, 70 or 100, there lives a small child. He can hide very deep, where no one would guess to look, but from time to time he will definitely come out - to see how life goes on here without him. And then mischievous lights appear in your eyes and movements become swift, full of joy and energy. Or, perhaps, you pout offendedly, shrinking with your whole body, as if trying to hide from the injustice of this world, looking for support, protection, affection ...
Of course, you may not be aware of his presence, but the child that you once were forever remains a part of you and brings all his childhood grievances, anxieties, fears and disappointments into your adult life. In other words, all our basic behavior patterns, reactions to certain situations, are formed in childhood, when we absorb what is happening like a sponge, and, repeating many times, they become an integral part of our personality - character traits. And character, as you know, shapes fate. Have you ever wondered why what happens to you happens?
Do you remember your childhood, your first steps in this world?
Now we can choose what is true for us and what is false, but then ...
Our parents are the people who plunged us into this world, laid the foundation in us, the basis for understanding all the diversity of its forms and manifestations, they gave us the spiritual and physical warmth that we need to be able to preserve and increase. It has long been noticed that a person who received a sufficient amount of love, attention and affection in childhood is more resistant to stressful situations, more calm and happy, has strong immunity and can always get out of any difficult life situation with dignity. If your parents were not up to you, if they could not or did not want, or did not know how to give their child what he needs most in the world, then that is why you can now feel your worthlessness, deprivation, uselessness. But do not blame the parents for this, it is unlikely that they themselves had a childhood that one can only dream of ...
NOW THIS IS MY CHILDHOOD!
Yes, we all come from childhood, and our entire future life, that is, our self-realization, depends on our childhood, or rather on its “quality”. Yes, a person forms himself, he chooses his priorities. He accepts something, rejects something, and just because his path begins with those very first steps with a palm in his mother's hand ... This "taste" of understanding life is instilled in you already there, in your mother's "House". Her thoughts, aspirations and desires are transmitted to us with blood and flesh. It is with this "matrix" that we enter the adult world. And we can set any goals and objectives for the implementation of our plans, we have the right to make the most incredible decisions, but all this is only external, because all our actions have long been scheduled, planned, calculated and formed. This is our basis, base. Until the age of 6, we absorbed ... And if we remember everything well ... And I did it - I remembered everything well and came to an amazing discovery!
— This is where the origins of my today's Success come from!!!
- That's where I come from - SUCH !!!
— That's why I'm a STAR!!!
I'm all over the place! I can do everything! I believe in you!
And today, as it turned out, I have the only difficulty - to find those words of great gratitude to my beloved parents, and especially to my dear mother, for their tender love for me, for giving me - themselves without realizing it ...
Yes, I remember my childhood with a slight tremor of a little girl who left that fairy tale where she was a sorceress, and I was supported in any of my desires to establish myself. Even then I knew that I would succeed, because my mom and dad believed in it! The only thing I didn't know was the word "no". I was sure that my desire was enough, and everything would be the way I want. And for my such a fabulous childhood today I am overwhelmed with feelings of great gratitude, love and even a little guilt ... After all, all this happiness went to me alone! I just held out my palms - at first small, pink, chubby - and I always knew that they would be full, full. Over the edge! And I will be the best. This gave rise to exceptional confidence, emancipation, self-esteem in me ...
But childhood has passed, and even today I extend my hand to my mother - strong and confident, on which lies a huge responsibility for my fate, and for the fate of my children, and, finally, for my mission on this Earth ... And I also discovered that it was the Almighty himself who protected me for this. Yes, I take my mother’s hand again, because only she can give me the kindest and wisest advice, sometimes ridiculously simple or even sometimes incomprehensible: “Do as your heart tells you.” And from this again confidence in deeds, actions, in life is born.
And they called me by a short name - "Firefly"! And it was very important, and from this name I began to glow all over.
What did I do to deserve such a childhood? Even then I knew that millions of unfortunate children live on our planet malnourished, sleep deprived, deprived of love. And I, bathed in the warm golden rays of my mother's and father's love, protected from all the hardships of our hard life, was able to save and preserve that pure and bright soul of a child who came into the world to fulfill his very difficult, but very responsible Mission. It was that infinite amount of kindness and love from my parents that melted, according to the law, into my quality! Yes! In my quality!
This is how I was lucky to “choose” my parents, and they tried to make a gold standard out of my childhood. I can't write anymore, because tears fill my eyes. These are the tears of my greatest and infinite gratitude for my childhood.
My dears, I love you very much...
If someone before you has already managed to do this, then it means that you will succeed, succeed in becoming better and more confident in yourself, simply by changing the picture of your childhood, adding to it what you really, really lacked then, which means not enough now.
Ekaterina Pankratova
In every adult person, no matter how old he is 30, 40, 70 or 100, there lives a small child. He can hide very deep, where no one will guess where to look, but time from time to time he always comes out - to see how life goes here without him. And then mischievous lights appear in your eyes and movements become swift, full of joy and energy. Or, perhaps, you pout offendedly, shrinking with your whole body, as if trying to hide from the injustice of this world, looking for support, protection, affection ...
Of course, you may not be aware of his presence, but the child that you once were forever remains a part of you and brings all his childhood grievances, anxieties, fears and disappointments into your adult life. In other words, all our basic behavior patterns, reactions to certain situations, are formed in childhood, when we absorb what is happening like a sponge, and, repeating many times, they become an integral part of our personality - character traits. And character, as you know, shapes fate. Have you ever wondered why what happens to you happens?
Do you remember your childhood, your first steps in this world?
Now we can choose what is true for us and what is false, but then ...
Our parents are the people who plunged us into this world, laid the foundation in us, the basis for understanding all the diversity of its forms and manifestations, they gave us the spiritual and physical warmth that we need to be able to preserve and increase. It has long been noticed that a person who received a sufficient amount of love, attention and affection in childhood is more resistant to stressful situations in adulthood, more calm and happy, has strong immunity and can always get out of any difficult life situation with dignity. If your parents were not up to you, if they could not or did not want, or did not know how to give their child what he needs most in the world, then that is why you can now feel your worthlessness, deprivation, uselessness. But do not blame the parents for this, it is unlikely that they themselves had a childhood that one can only dream of ...
We all come from childhood, the only difference is - from what? Let's try to remember this together with you, and if we don't like something, then we will rewrite it from scratch - we will create a new vivid picture of our childhood, because our present will change with it, and our future will follow it! Yes, yes, do not be surprised, and childhood can be changed, you just need to really want it!
NOW THIS IS MY CHILDHOOD!
Yes, we all come from childhood, but from our childhood, or rather from his "qualities Our whole future life, i.e. our self-realization, also depends. Yes, a person forms himself, he chooses his priorities. Takes something something rejects and just because his path begins with those very first steps with a palm in his mother's hand ... This "taste"an understanding of life is instilled in you already there, in your mother's "Domike". Her thoughts, aspirations and desires are transmitted to us with blood and flesh. Here with this "matrix We are entering the adult world. And we can set any goals and objectives for the implementation of our plans, we have the right to make the most incredible decisions, but all this is only external, because all our actions have long been scheduled, planned, calculated and formed. This is our basis, base. Until the age of 6, we absorbed ... And if we remember everything well ... And I did it - I remembered everything well and came to an amazing discovery!
— This is where the origins of my today's Success come from!!!
- That's where I come from - SUCH !!!
— That's why I'm a STAR!!!
I'm all over the place! I can do everything! I believe in you!
And today, as it turned out, I have the only difficulty - to find those words of great gratitude to my beloved parents, and especially to my dear mother, for their tender love for me, for giving me - themselves without realizing it ...
Yes, I remember my childhood with a slight tremor of a little girl who left that fairy tale where she was a sorceress, and I was supported in any of my desires to establish myself. Even then I knew that I would succeed, because my mom and dad believed in it! The only thing I didn't know was the word "it is forbidden". I was sure that my desire was enough, and everything would be the way I want. And for my such a fabulous childhood today I am overwhelmed with feelings of great gratitude, love and even a little guilt ... After all, all this happiness went to me alone! I just held out my palms - at first small, pink, chubby - and I always knew that they would be full, full. Over the edge! And I will be the best. This gave rise to exceptional confidence, emancipation, self-esteem in me ...
But childhood has passed, and even today I extend my hand to my mother - strong and confident, on which lies a huge responsibility for my fate, and for the fate of my children, and, finally, for my mission on this Earth ... And I also discovered that it was the Almighty himself who protected me for this. Yes, I take my mother’s hand again, because only she can give me the kindest and wisest advice, sometimes ridiculously simple or even sometimes incomprehensible: "Go ahead as your heart tells you." And from this again confidence in deeds, actions, in life is born.
And they called me by a short name - "Firefly"! And it was very important, and from this name I began to glow all over.
What did I do to deserve such a childhood? Even then I knew that millions of unfortunate children live on our planet malnourished, sleep deprived, deprived of love. And I, bathed in the warm golden rays of my mother's and father's love, protected from all the hardships of our hard life, was able to save and preserve that pure and bright soul of a child who came into the world to fulfill his very difficult, but very responsible Mission. It was that infinite amount of kindness and love from my parents that melted, according to the law, into my quality! Yes! In my quality!
That's how happy I am "select» to my parents, and they tried to make a golden standard out of my childhood. I can't write anymore, because tears fill my eyes. These are the tears of my greatest and infinite gratitude for my childhood.
My dears, I love you very much...
If someone before you has already managed to do this, then it means that you will succeed, succeed in becoming better and more confident in yourself, simply by changing the picture of your childhood, adding to it what you really, really lacked then, which means not enough now.
Grab a clean sheet of paper and a pen and get to work!
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“Where are we from? We come from childhood, as if from some country ... I'm not very sure that I lived after my childhood passed ”A. de Saint-Exupery
"Every person is a child who has not grown up."
“Why do I need this meditation? My childhood has long passed, all the events, good or bad, joyful and not very, have become so far away that I remember them very rarely. You can think in this way, postponing indefinitely the study of deep processes that were formed precisely in childhood and affect our entire subsequent life. The consultative practice of psychologists shows that the problems inherent in childhood manifest themselves in adolescence and adulthood.
Marina Targakova in the seminar “Windows to the World of a Child” comes to the conclusion that pregnancy and the first 1.5 years of life are the most important period in which the features of the human psyche are laid. Very often, fears and other problems in the current life are associated with the prenatal period and childbirth. At each stage of development (before birth, 0 to 6 months, 6 to 18 months, 1.5 to 3 years, 3 to 6 years, and so on) we must satisfy our natural needs for love and unconditional acceptance, care and protection. Another thing is that in real life this does not always work out.
“Every person is a child who has not grown up, who did not receive this experience of unconditional love and full unconditional acceptance of him as a person in his childhood.”
A mature personality is a person who has gone through all stages of development harmoniously and correctly. We are all leaders for someone: a husband for a wife, a mother for children, older brothers and sisters for younger ones, a company leader for wards, and so on. An adult is someone who can take responsibility for what happens, for unplanned things, and most importantly - for what he is not to blame.
“I am ready to answer for something in which I am absolutely not to blame!” - only one who has correctly passed all stages of personality development, starting from infancy, can think like that. (Ruslan Narushevich, "Emotional Culture of a Mature Personality", 6th International Festival "Psychology of the Third Millennium")
Is your inner child happy?
People suffering from unsettled family life, women with low self-esteem, dysfunctional teenagers - who are they? These are children who have received psychological trauma at one of the important stages of development. Many modern social projects vividly demonstrate obvious truths: inappropriate behavior of adolescents, depression, uncontrolled aggression and other similar conditions have deep causes in early childhood.
There are many such children, to be honest, it is easier to say who has no problems in this area than to list people with certain psychological herbs of childhood. These children are now twenty, thirty or more years old, but this did not stop them from deep inside crying and asking for help. This topic difficult to understand, it often causes a feeling of injustice and internal protest among the participants of the training.
We may begin to blame our parents for not giving us the love and attention we needed, for hurting us, sometimes without knowing it. Marina Targakova speaks very categorically in this regard:"Let the curse of your kind end on you!"
Looking for someone to blame can go too far, and what's the point? Just get the necessary resource of love and acceptance from available sources.
Try to go back to yourself, a little child, and say: "I love you, love you and accept you the way you are."Let this baby experience unconditional love, let him experience that he is loved and accepted for who he is.
Often in courses for women, one simple exercise is carried out. To help boost self-esteem, girls are encouraged to find their childhood photos and admire themselves - a small, defenseless and such a beautiful girl! Remember how wonderful we all were as children.
Go back in time and tell yourself: "Don't be afraid of anything, baby!".
Editor: Larisa Kokstova.
The article is written based on the materials of Oleg Gadetsky's meditation "Cleansing the Memory of Childhood".