Highly sensitive people are a gift to mankind. Although they are sometimes mistaken for being weak, they are actually very empathic and able to demonstrate a high degree of understanding and caring. Such individuals have a unique ability. They can resist a cold and indifferent society and remain as open and understanding as ever.

High sensitivity is caused by genetics

According to scientific research, high sensitivity is caused by genetics, in particular, a highly sensitive nervous system. This makes the person very subtly perceive everything that is around her, and react more vividly and emotionally to it.

How do genes influence this? To do this, you need to understand such concepts as temperament and personality. Temperament is a set of innate features that determine how a person will see this world. This is a complex phenomenon that is literally woven into human DNA. Personality is what a person turns into under the influence of his temperament, life experience, value system, education and many other factors. Personality is the result of the influence of both external factors and society, and behavior.

If you portray it visually, then the temperament resembles a blank canvas, while the personality chooses what it will paint on this canvas. At the same time, personality can change for various reasons, while temperament remains unchanged. Thus, high sensitivity is the result of how the temperament of a particular person manifests itself in his personality.

The brains of highly sensitive people are different

According to scientific research, the brains of highly sensitive people are able to process much more information from the environment than those who do not. Such people see more and more figuratively, constantly create specific associations, and such people have a high level of intuition.

The brain of sensitive people perceives, evaluates, processes and synthesizes information constantly. That is why they seem so absorbed, tired and even absent-minded. Unlike other people, such individuals need more frequent rest.

How to learn to deal with high sensitivity?

Now that you understand the nature of this phenomenon, you can work out certain steps on the way to learning to live with high sensitivity. Here are some ideas and tips that will help you understand yourself or understand the people around you who have this feature:

• Being a sensitive person is not a curse. Accept and love yourself just the way you are.
• Allow yourself to show emotion. Don't hide everything you feel just so you don't stand out from the crowd.
• Learn to understand that the world really needs people like you. Sensitivity shows us that we are people, and keeps society from plunging into indifference, inertia and coldness.
• Give yourself time to rest. Highly sensitive people easily succumb to unreasonable anxiety, depression. Learn to recognize when your emotional state is starting to get high and you need to take a break.
• For a highly sensitive soul, loneliness can be one of the most valuable and positive things. Remember to just be alone with yourself sometimes.

In addition, people with high sensitivity are not only very kind and gentle, they are also able to very deeply understand and perceive the mood and emotions of the people they love. They know how to listen, hear, understand and really empathize, which undoubtedly refers to the best human qualities.

Conclusion

High sensitivity is not an indicator of weakness, but on the contrary, it shows that you are still not indifferent and cold, like most of modern society. There is no shame in showing your emotions, because they are what make such people so unique and unrepeatable. Thanks to the existence of such personalities, our world still remains humane, warm and not indifferent.

When I was in kindergarten, a boy from my group threw my favorite book off the balcony, says 20-year-old Anna. “I remember crying terribly—not because of the book, but because I hated that boy.” The main sign of hypersensitivity is strong emotions that can arise due to the most insignificant reasons.

Some of us are just more acutely aware of everything that happens to them, and this is not necessarily a bad thing. According to psychologist Elaine Aron, there are approximately 20% of hypersensitive people (hypersensitives) in society. This means that one or more of your acquaintances, friends or relatives, most likely, belongs to their number.

Here's what to remember when dealing with hypersensitives. Elaine Eyron is a psychologist and author of The Hypersensitive Nature. How to succeed in a crazy world” (Azbuka-Atticus, 2014).

1. THEY CRY A LOT
Hypersensitive people may cry when they are happy, sad, or irritated. This does not mean that they are bad. They just experience everything that happens to them very intensely, and tears help emotional release.

2. THEY ARE NOT NEEDED TO BE INTROVERTED
Introversion can go hand in hand with hypersensitivity, but this is not always the case. In fact, as Elaine Ayron discovered, 30% of hypersensitive people are extroverts. Often they require even more attention because they find it difficult to regulate their emotional state, they are more dependent on others and may experience a kind of intoxication from impressions.

3. THEY ARE NERVOUS WHEN THEY NEED TO MAKE A DECISION
The ability to quickly and confidently make decisions is not the strongest feature of hypersensitivity. Even when it comes to such banal things as choosing a cafe for lunch. The reason is that they are very afraid of making the wrong choice: suddenly the food in the cafe will be too expensive, the music will be too loud, the waiters will ignore them, and their companion will not like it there.

4. THEY REACT TO THE SMALLEST CHANGE
“If you are used to ending messages with a smiley, but this time you put an end to it, be sure: we will definitely note this,” says Anna. “And we’ll probably start to get nervous.” Hypersensitives tend to be very sensitive to what's going on in their environment and instantly notice when things aren't going their way.

5. THEY ARE ALWAYS LISTENING
If you need a friendly shoulder, feel free to contact them. Hypersensitives can make small talk, but they do best in the role of an attentive listener. You can be sure that they will not interrupt you, will not become distracted and change the subject.

6. THEY HATE NOISE AND LOUD SOUNDS
A high-speed train, car horns, overly sociable colleagues ... All this not only annoys us - we suffer, as if every sound is driven into our heads with a hammer. According to Elaine Ayron, it's all about the reduced threshold of sensitivity, because of which any stimulus is felt more strongly.

7. THEIR WORK HABITS ARE VERY UNUSUAL
The ideal option is to work at home or in any quiet place. This allows you to focus and keep your nerves in order. “Hypersensitivity people are able to take advantage of their ability to observe,” says Elaine Ayron. “They have a knack for thinking about ideas and then presenting them in a way that will be taken seriously.” Their analytical skills and attentiveness to other people's comments make them excellent teammates (as long as they are not put in charge of making major decisions).

8. THEY DO NOT LIKE TO TICKLE
A horror movie or a thriller is not the best choice if you want to invite a hypersensitive person to the cinema. The tendency to empathize, combined with an increased susceptibility to emotionally charged images, can cause shock in them.

9. They don't take criticism well.
Avoidance of anything that can cause too much excitement, a hallmark of hypersensitivity. As a result, they try to do everything possible so that they themselves do not hurt the feelings of others and not cause their displeasure.

10. THEY TAKE EVERYTHING TO HEART
When communicating with hypersensitives, avoid ridicule. Of course, they themselves can love good jokes and try to relate to life with humor, but even the hint that something may be wrong with them makes them nervous.

11. THEY ARE VERY SENSITIVE TO PAIN
Pain is also a kind of stimulation. Not surprisingly, hypersensitives perceive it more acutely. Elaine Ayron's research has confirmed that hypersensitive people have a low pain threshold, and the expectation of pain (for example, in the dentist's office) can make you feel pain even when no one touches them.

12. THEY DREAM OF DEEP RELATIONSHIPS
Hypersensitives find it difficult to make new acquaintances. The stress of uncertainty, the expectation of possible awkwardness, the painful guessing of what the interlocutor is thinking, all this tires them. Hypersensitive people tend to find a reliable, empathetic partner with whom they can relax and who they can completely trust.

13. THEY CAN'T CHANGE IT IN THEM
Hypersensitivity is not just a whim or a lack of character. Elaine Eyron found that areas of the brain associated with empathy and cognition in hypersensitive people become more aroused when they are shown photographs of a face with traces of strong emotions. In other words, this behavior is biologically programmed.

If there is an oversensitive person in your environment, try to be sensitive to him. Most likely, he himself understands his own characteristics well, therefore he behaves carefully and considerately. But he expects understanding from you too.

When you think about the secret of successful people, what qualities do you think help them achieve success? You will be amazed by their ingenuity and creativity in solving problems. Or maybe you will be overwhelmed by their emotional intelligence and fantastic ability to make contacts with other people.

This is just a partial list of the qualities of highly sensitive people (HSPs), who make up 20% of the world's population.

Despite popular belief, highly sensitive people often make great leaders. They tend to be successful professionally. They are both disliked and highly valued for their commitment to the cause, even if they are good at ruffling the nerves of their colleagues from time to time.

High sensitivity is a feature that is misunderstood. I myself belong to a highly sensitive people, therefore, more than once suffered because of my empathy and always experiencing nature. Fortunately, attitudes towards sensitivity have changed in society, partly due to the recognition and acceptance of the principle of neurodiversity. It is that neurological differences between people are normal.

Being very sensitive is a superpower, but only if you use it correctly. Otherwise, it, on the contrary, can complicate your life.

In order to survive in our world, highly sensitive people have to be guided by certain principles that relate to absolutely everything - love, work, and even how to live with such a feature of the psyche so that it does not hurt.

The Secret Life of Highly Sensitive People
It consists in the fact that they notice every little thing, they just read between the lines. Believe it or not, highly sensitive people make wonderful entrepreneurs, namely marketers, because they are great at making contacts, listening to other people, empathizing with them.

Highly sensitive people are very conscientious.

Details, structure, organization are your forte. After all, you are so deeply immersed in the process that you can easily develop long-term plans and think through the best solutions. And this, you see, is a valuable help.

Highly sensitive people can concentrate on an idea with real fanaticism. All these qualities contribute to success in our difficult time of information technology and clip thinking.

Highly sensitive people are more creative and creative.

There are many highly sensitive people among the world famous artists and artists. Why? Hypersensitivity and a rich inner world make them just made for success.

So use your natural curiosity, ask questions, use your gift. All this distinguishes you from other people and is a big plus.

Highly sensitive people do everything with genuine passion.

You are very proud and try to make as few mistakes as possible. You are equally passionate about your work and relationships. It is felt. As a rule, such people are interested in many things and know how to do a lot, which often makes them pioneers in a particular industry.

HSP and success
Can your hypersensitivity interfere with your life? Of course, this cannot be ruled out. But with a certain amount of balance and thoughtfulness, you can turn this feature of yours into a huge force.

Try to get feedback.

Most highly sensitive people, despite the fact that they communicate well with others, feel very uncomfortable during public meetings or presentations. One critical remark is enough for them to survive for several days later.

Therefore, if you are a highly sensitive person, always be ready to play with high stakes. You must be ready for any questions, calculate everything one step ahead. Prepare a few blanks on how you will react if something goes wrong during the discussion.

For example: “Let's return to the discussion of this point a little later”, “Quite a difficult question. What is your vision of the situation?”, “Thanks for the feedback. Give me some time to process what I've heard.

Don't react - answer.

Life does not always go according to the intended scenario, therefore, HSPs should develop the ability to respond correctly to its challenges. In order not to panic and not succumb to emotions, learn to put a barrier between what is happening and your reaction to it.

For example, when your partner leaves dirty dishes in the sink for the umpteenth time, don't let the stress wash over you. HSPs are felt more and more acutely and deeply, so such a reaction will only aggravate everything.

An explosion or, conversely, silence - these reactions are not constructive. Instead, take a deep breath and count to five before answering. This will help you curb your emotions.

Quietly ask yourself why you are unhappy. Take time out and come back to discuss the problem later. Write down your thoughts before answering. There is nothing to be ashamed of in this pause. In fact, this is a sign of your maturity, thoughtful attitude to life and healthy self-control.

Set reasonable boundaries.

It is important for highly sensitive people to conserve their energy without wasting it on trifles. You spend all day passing through yourself the feelings and moods of other people, which is why it is so important. Naturally, all the negativity affects you. It can even be noise in the room, bad music and so on - all this affects sensitive people.

Simple, at first glance, things can help you with this. You can, for example, come to the office half an hour earlier to be quiet during this time, to tune in to the working day. For example, I always set aside 15-30 minutes between meetings to be alone, to concentrate.

Managing your energy effectively comes down to setting strong boundaries and being mindful of what you let into your life. Keep toxic people out of your way, don't let the media influence you. Learn to relax and rest.

If HSP is your loved one or colleague
Highly sensitive people make excellent life partners and community leaders. Although it must be admitted that loving them, living or working next to them is quite difficult. You cannot (and don't even try) to change them. But you can always support them with the following tricks:

If you work with HSP:

Keep them up to date on everything that's happening. Maximum information! Highly sensitive people perceive new and most complex information very well, because the more they know, the more effective they work. Whenever possible, always give them time to prepare. For example, familiarize them with the agenda ahead of time. Focus on coaching, not criticism.

If you love HSP:

Be sure to set aside time when your partner can be alone or in silence. Be prepared that he will suffer from insomnia. It can be very difficult for them to fall asleep because of their active and inquisitive mind.

Be patient with them during misunderstandings. Don't be offended when they want to be alone. You will always have time to catch up - during trips to theaters, museums or trips out of town. HSPs love to get new knowledge, as well as nature, art, and are always happy to embark on pleasant and funny adventures with you.

Whether your highly sensitive person is your spouse, brother, or co-worker, try to keep that personality in mind and use it for the benefit of your relationship or work.

It will not always be easy, but over time you will realize that it was worth it: very sensitive people change our world for the better.

A chance meeting with a friend of youth, whom we have long lost sight of; emergency situation on the road; speaking in front of an unfamiliar audience; the long-awaited first "mom" or "dad" from the mouth of a child - many events daily awaken our emotions. We are embarrassed by them, afraid to look ridiculous from the outside, restrain ourselves and think that we control them. And yet, emotions keep getting the better of us.

Double standards

Perhaps the fact is that we grew up in a society where the ability to control our feelings - "rule ourselves" - has always been considered a virtue. Self-control, like a vigilant guardian, constantly reminds us: it is indecent to behave too emotionally, it is impossible to openly show our anger, it is necessary to hide our fear, restrain excitement and even joy.

Any strong emotional reaction may seem inappropriate, funny, even obscene and be perceived as a manifestation of our weakness.

There are not so many exceptions: it is the joy or anxiety experienced by many people at once who find themselves in certain circumstances. So, it's natural to shout and chant slogans together at a football stadium or empathize together at the TV screen, on which a tsunami wave sweeps away a peaceful beach. But, let's say, dancing in the office on the occasion of a promotion, to put it mildly, is not accepted - just as it is not customary to openly experience one's grief.

Rigid self-control creates a certain psychological comfort for us: ritualized manifestations of emotions somewhat soften the state of affect (strong short-term emotional experience) and regulate it. But at the same time, self-control is frustrating, creating a dangerous gap between how we feel and how we behave.

Through emotions, we express our true "I" and become more understandable to other people. In addition, emotions are necessary for us to survive.

Those who are prevented from living by their own emotionality sometimes try to “drown out” it with the help of a miraculous pill. Many blame their own parents for their, as they think, excessive sensitivity, who raised them “incorrectly”. But both do not know or forget how important the manifestation of emotions is for our lives. Thanks to them, we express our true "I" and become more understandable to other people. In addition, emotions are necessary for our survival.

In this sense, by suppressing our emotions, we literally put ourselves at risk, because each of them plays a special role.

Fear alerts us to real or imagined danger. It captures what is significant for our life at the moment. Fear not only receives information, but also gives commands to the body: directs blood to the legs, if you need to run, or to the head, if you need to think. As a rule, fear mobilizes our energy, although sometimes its effect is the opposite: it paralyzes us while we decide what to do in a particular situation.

Anger sometimes confused with the violence it can provoke. As a rule, this feeling covers a person when he suspects that he is not taken seriously (and some people live with this feeling all the time). But anger can also be useful: it causes the release of hormones (including adrenaline) into the blood, and they, in turn, provide a powerful burst of energy. And then we feel our strength, we feel courage and self-confidence. In addition, anger tells us that we have reached the point where we can no longer control ourselves - in a sense, it replaces the manifestation of violence.

Joy acts like a magnet: it attracts others and helps you share your feelings. It is also known that a smile and laughter have a healing effect, enhancing the body's immune defenses.

Woe helps to withdraw into oneself in order to survive the loss (of a loved one, some qualities in oneself, material objects ...) and return the energy of life. It allows you to “overcome yourself”, adapt to the loss and rediscover the lost meaning of what is happening. In addition, the experience of grief attracts the sympathy and attention of other people - and we feel more secure.

Joy- the most desired emotion. It is she who releases the maximum amount of energy, stimulating the release of hormones of pleasure. We feel confidence, our own importance, freedom, we feel that we love and are loved. Joy acts like a magnet: it draws others to us and helps us share our feelings. It is also known that a smile and laughter have a healing effect, enhancing the body's immune defenses.

Mind and feelings

Another major virtue of emotions is that they make us smarter. For a long time, science in a sense devalued them, placed them below the thinking mind. After all, from the point of view of evolution, emotions were born in the depths of the “prehuman” archaic mind and are closely related to the instinctive behavior of animals. New parts of the cerebral cortex, which, in particular, are responsible for the processes of conscious thinking, appeared much later.

But today it is known that in its pure form the mind does not exist - it is fed by emotions. The American neurologist Antonio Damasio proved that knowledge that is not accompanied by emotions is fruitless, and an emotionally cold person is not able, for example, to learn from his mistakes. It is interesting that children and adults learn and remember something new only against the background of a positive and sufficiently strong emotional impulse, which, figuratively speaking, opens the door to a new area of ​​neural connections.

In a professional environment, the most successful are not specialists with many diplomas, but those who are able to analyze their feelings and manage both their own and other people's emotions

Perception also does not exist without emotion. Every word we perceive, every gesture, smell, taste, image is immediately "interpreted" by our senses. Without emotions, we would turn into automatons and drag out a rather colorless existence.

Psychologist Daniel Goleman introduced the concept of "emotional intelligence" into scientific circulation. He came to the conclusion that our personal success depends not so much on IQ, an indicator of intellectual development, but on the emotional quotient (EQ).

Based on experimental data, he proved that in a professional environment, it is not specialists with many diplomas who become the most successful, but those who have valuable human qualities - the ability to analyze their feelings and manage both their own and other people's emotions.

When such people, for example, ask for help to solve a problem, others readily respond, while “emotionally disabled” (with low EQ) can wait several days for an answer to their request ...

The voice of the unconscious

Emotions tell us the most important information about ourselves or about what we are dealing with, and therefore they should be trusted, listened to and rely on them. At first glance, this existential position seems to contradict the personal experience of many of us: more than once we have been mistaken, following the lead of feelings.

The greatest German philosopher Max Scheler explained this contradiction by the existence of two types of sensations. On the one hand, there are contact sensations that act like the mechanism of touch.

When we feel joy, we feel better, we can relax, we worry less, which means we are able to experience “more life”. If something upsets or angers us, we almost physically feel that our health and energy are being taken away from us - “part of life”. Contact feelings convey important information about the existential significance of what is happening for my health, my vitality. But such feelings (often coming from childhood) should not be relied upon in making decisions, it is important to be able to remove them, put them out of the brackets.

If you look back at your life, you will surely notice that all the most important and correct decisions in it were made relying on instinct: rational explanations usually come later.

Another kind of sensations - distant. They are not directly related to our current state, but they capture something very significant about the other person. This is a well-known intuitive feeling. It is it that prompts us to ask a loved one: “Did something happen to you?” Or orders: “We urgently need to call home!”

We are not taught to listen to distant feelings, but they allow us to instantly assess the atmosphere in a group of people, to form an impression of an interlocutor or a situation. If you look back at your life, you will surely notice that all the most important and correct decisions in it were made relying on instinct: rational explanations usually come later.

Trust in your emotions can and should be educated and trained. It is only important not to confuse contact feelings, which communicate about us personally, with distant ones, speaking about another person.

High voltages

When the power of experiences is too great, our psychological defense mechanisms turn on - and we no longer feel anything. Depression, apathy, stupor - this is how it looks from the outside, but from the inside, the person simply no longer hurts, as with anesthesia. We transform suppressed ("forgotten") emotions into bodily sensations, erasing the relationship between the emotional experience and what caused it.

Sometimes emotions take the form of their opposite. Sadness is sometimes expressed in euphoric excitement; joy - in tears; sometimes we can laugh out loud - if only despair does not crush us. Psychological defense mechanisms deplete our mental and physical strength and almost always turn out to be ineffective: at some point, true feelings break through and overwhelm us.

Those who successfully hide their emotions are also subject to their pressure. You can fake laughter, play anger, lie about your true feelings, but it’s still impossible to pretend forever: sooner or later they will come out. So it's better to be able to accept them for who they are.

You are quick-tempered or hypersensitive, notorious or paralyzed with fear ... Try to master some simple exercises that will help to harmonize your emotions.

You are notorious

You hold back, not allowing yourself to express either anger or joy ... Your behavior has a motive that is not easy for you to recognize. The way out is to “let go” of yourself, to release your feelings.

Try to express feelings with gestures

Words are important, but 90% of our emotions are expressed by facial expressions, by the body. A smile, posture, gestures - even a simple shrug of the shoulders says more about our attitude to what is happening than long speeches ...

Recognize the existence of emotions

If a child is afraid of wolves, it is useless to convince him that they are not found in our forests. Accepting his feelings, parents may ask: “What can I do to calm you down?” There is no shame in being afraid, there is no need to be ashamed of fears.

None of our emotions are dangerous, they are our allies, from whom you should not constantly expect a dirty trick.

Keep a diary

You are paralyzed by fear

The higher the "bets" (i.e., the more you lose when you lose and the greater the reward for winning), the more you panic. You are so afraid of failure that you mentally draw the most catastrophic scenarios, and you give up. The way out is to master your feelings and overcome the "paralysis" of the will.

Who is the person who inspires fear in you? Maybe the teacher who tormented you as a child, or the neighbor who wouldn't let you through? Each stressful situation awakens in us the memory of one that we experienced in the past, often in the first six years of life. And the feeling of fear that we could not overcome returns to us again.

Breathe right

Concentrate on your breathing: lengthen your exhalations and shorten your inhalations to neutralize your internal sensations.

Remember your successes

About, for example, how you brilliantly passed an exam or won a tennis set from a friend. By building on past successes and the pleasures associated with them, you can overcome the desire to see catastrophic scenarios of events that have not yet taken place.

Prepare for the test

Consider possible options for the event, determine what you want to achieve in any case, and what you can give in to ... This will help you better control your emotions.

Look at the interlocutor, but not directly in the eyes, but at the point between them

You will be able to focus on what you say, and not on what you read in his eyes ...

You are hot-tempered

The way out is to learn how to control your feelings and manage a conflict situation.

Do not accumulate claims

The more you accumulate them in yourself, the more you risk breaking loose. By speaking out about your grievances, you are helping yourself avoid outbursts of unbridled anger.

Learn to Express Feelings Clearly

Name the feeling that bothers you. Without complaining or blaming, say openly: "I'm having problems at work, I'm stressed out and don't know what to do."

Pause

The brain needs time to make a decision and take control of the situation. Relax the solar plexus: inhaling deeply, hold your breath for a few seconds, exhale and wait before inhaling again. From time to time close your eyes for 2-3 seconds: turning off visual signals reduces tension.

American psychotherapist Haim Ginott advises to build your statements according to the scheme: “When you did (a) X, I felt (a) Y, and at that moment I wanted you to do (a) Z.” For example: “When you reproached me for being late, I felt guilty. It would be better if you hugged me instead of scolding me.

Lend a helping hand

Before you respond with aggression to aggression, ask the “aggressor”: “Is something wrong with you?” Or offer him a truce: "I'm starting to get nervous, let's take a break, cool down."

You are hypersensitive

You react sharply to both critical remarks and compliments. The way out is to establish a balanced relationship with people.

Don't focus on yourself

You worry too much about what others think of you. Try to step away from yourself a little and show empathy (empathy). Learn to put yourself in the other person's shoes. What is he thinking about? What is going through? This change of perspective helps to change the strategy of the relationship.

Don't try to be loved by everyone

Sometimes it’s worth taking a chance and agreeing that someone will not like your actions, but will complicate someone’s life. It is impossible to avoid manifestations of rivalry, antipathy, incompatibility of characters. The more clearly you realize this, the easier it will be for you to accept it, and the harder it will be for others to deceive you.

Try to find "trigger" situations

Make a list of situations in which you are especially vulnerable and words that provoke your inappropriate behavior. Faced with them again, you can recognize them and not get confused.

Avoid categorical forecasts

Addressing yourself in a commanding tone (“I have to make a career!”) Or in a minor tone (“I will probably live all my life alone (on) ...”) is not good for you: you feel the weight of guilt for your troubles, and this weakens your vitality and does not allow you to tune in to victory.

Hypersensitivity refers to excessive psychological vulnerability. It is expressed in increased sensitivity, anxiety, high susceptibility to any sensations. For a long time, such people were considered introverts, but modern research has shown that among hypersensitive people, only 70% are introverts, the remaining 30% are extroverts.

What other qualities are inherent in such people? “The nervous system of hypersensitive individuals is distinguished by a special sensitivity,” explains Ilse Sand, Danish writer, psychotherapist and bestselling author of "Close to the heart. How to live if you are too sensitive person" . We notice many nuances and analyze them deeper than everyone else. We have a rich imagination and a vivid imagination. Thanks to their active work, our "hard drive" fills up faster, and we experience overexcitation. There is nothing to worry about, but if you are hypersensitive, then in a situation of intense communication you will feel an overabundance of information earlier than ordinary people, which will cause a desire to withdraw and leave.

However, it is these traits, according to many psychologists, that can enrich the lives of hypersensitive people. “The cause of increased excitability lies in our overly sensitive nervous system, but thanks to it we are able to experience genuine joy,” notes Ilse Sand.

It is hypersensitivity that makes us more creative, responsible, sensitive and attentive to others (which they no doubt appreciate).

True, this medal has a reverse side. “Hypersensitives expect from others the same sensitivity that they show themselves, but in vain - most people are absolutely indifferent to the feelings of others. And it’s better to be prepared for this than to be horrified over and over again,” reminds Ilse Sand.

Too sensitive people: how to make your life easier

The first and most important thing to do, according to the author of the book, is admit that you are different from the rest, and stop considering your features as something bad.

The second important step is be more gentle . As Ilse Sand notes, very sensitive people often have high standards for themselves and low self-esteem. “High standards must be strictly controlled, otherwise there is a high probability of mental overstrain. You need to focus on your own life principles and start the process of pacification. The rest is a matter of practice, says Ilse Sand. “Feeling that you can be yourself and not have to be overly helpful will have a positive effect on your self-esteem.”

* Find an activity you enjoy and return to it regularly. “Go for a walk and admire nature, pamper your senses with a bouquet of fragrant flowers, listen to good music, start journaling, write poetry or prose, spend time with someone you really care about,” writes Ilse Sand.

* Learn to say "no". In the absence of this skill, you will constantly suffer from overload and overwork. Don't worry: a politely worded rejection is unlikely to offend anyone.

* Don't wish for the impossible. “Maybe you have been reproaching yourself for many years in a row because you do not have enough strength for everything that others are doing. Or get angry at yourself and force yourself into activities that overload your nervous system. This happens because you refuse to come to terms with the peculiarities of your personality and want to prove that the level of your abilities is no different from the level of abilities of most others, the Danish psychotherapist explains. - Stop going out of your way, proving to others that you are as strong as they are, allow yourself to be soft and sensitive, adjust your life exclusively for yourself and suddenly you will find that the state of happiness is very different from your usual feelings of eternal pursuit and fight."

Recognizing your characteristics and learning to live in accordance with them is perhaps the main step towards peace with yourself.